Wow, I sure hope I don't hate my new job!
Is that not your first thought after accepting a job offer? Me neither...
Have you ever started a new job only to realize—like whiplash—that you hate it?
The first time this happened to me, I was a student. I got a "really, really cool job" that...wasn't that cool. The second time was way deeper into my career—and the stakes were higher.
In what was one of the most stressful weeks in my life (how is that even possible that something I did for six weeks became that stressful?), I quit after completing my work that Friday. I had no other job lined up, and I had no idea what was next. I only knew that I couldn't keep this up.
I've never listed it on my resume, and I've disconnected from almost everyone who worked there. These hard-won lessons have influenced every career move I've made since—and every piece of advice I've given.
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So, how did I get myself into this mess? What red flags did I miss? What could I have done differently?
What do you do when you realize you hate your job from day one?
7 Reasons You Hate Your New Job
At first, it's a little feeling of unease in the pit of your stomach—like a marble rolling around the bottom of your belly. You try to ignore it because this is your fresh start, your new opportunity!
Personally, I can be extremely shy in a new environment. I like to take things in before making up my mind about new colleagues, coworkers, or bosses. In that way, I always had some nervous energy going into a new role.
This job was different. I had a great interview experience. The other employees seemed professional and welcoming (and they were!). The workspace was beautiful and convenient. So many aspects of the job seemed really promising. I was going to be trusted with building content from the ground up!
In the final round of interviews, I met the "big bosses." They were somewhat well-known personalities, and they seemed great, too. What was there to hate about this job?
1. You Were Lied To
Then I had my first day, when I was called to drive to the boss's home twice. This felt strange, but new things are scary precisely because they are new, right? Looking back, I remember that I wouldn't be able to receive health benefits until I had been an employee for three months. What would have happened if I were injured in a car accident while shuffling between the office and their home?
I knew I could try to take things day by day. This wasn't my first new job.
In a relatively short timeframe, it became increasingly obvious that I wouldn't be doing the work I was hired to do—at least "not yet." I'm a reasonable person, and I see the value in learning what a workplace's ecosystem looks like from the ground up, so I took it all on as a new challenge.
I started my short-term tenure fielding rude, off-hours one-liner emails from one new boss, ornery Saturday morning phone calls from another boss, and a number of 14-, 15-, or 16-hour workdays spent assembling furniture in a filthy warehouse.
It's a pretty simple line of logic that you should be able to do the job you were hired to do. If you're not, then why are you there? Being ferried between tasks seemingly unrelated to you or your talents is a great way to lose motivation—and quickly.
2. You Hate The Hours
Another thing I learned in my first week is that we would be playing my least favorite work game in the office—going home chicken. Looking back, I think this is one of the most surefire ways to identify a toxic work environment from day one.
We worked in silence for ten hours. Then we played the game of "who is the least devoted to their career and is going to go home first?"
Hours should make sense. They should be filled with meaningful work or else, what are you doing in this place besides waiting to sit in horrific traffic with everyone else come 6 pm?
3. You Hate The Personalities
Beyond that, there were "after-work events" that were held at my bosses' home that we were not only expected to attend but we were expected to be thankful to have been invited! Once there, it was "loosen up", "have a drink", and "why are you being so quiet?"
I realized quickly that work-life balance was going to be a problem. I also realized that my introverted personality was not going to be the right fit—and I do not have a poker face for that kind of boundary-crossing.
You might really enjoy some of your new coworkers. You like them so much, in fact, that you begin to realize that you share something in common with them; they hate their job, too.
4. You Hate The Work
By week two, I was managing social media. Mind you, I had not been hired to do this job.
This was never mentioned in the interview process, nor had I any experienced managing anyone's social media but my own. Beyond that, there was no plan for how it should be run.
It went like this: create a post, wait for the inevitable email from my boss, see what I did wrong, and try again.
I know how I sound so far; like a whiny little Millennial—and that's fair. But I tried to fix things. I wanted this to work I wanted to blame my icky feelings on shyness or a learning curve, so I tried fixes.
I tried scheduling them out a week in advance for review. My new manager, who constantly reminded me that he was not a micromanager, did not have the time to review a week in advance.
I emailed my bosses detailed plans of what I'd like to do with SEO. Instead, I was instructed to commute to "the house" to take pictures of something, to post more on Instagram, and to pick this thing item up and transfer it there.
5. You Hate Your Boss
You might have guessed it by now, but I did not care for senior management in this role. The story the company put forth on marketing materials and their job advertisement painted a picture that really resonated with me for very personal reasons. It was a perfectly curated story.
Once inside the fold, I realized my bosses were not only misrepresenting themselves, but they were simply not nice people.
One boss was a micromanager. The other boss? I still haven't figured her out, but I did receive some Saturday morning phone calls that left me in tears by week two.
6. You Can't Adapt to Your New Environment
You know you better than anyone else. If you can't adapt to your current job, you're going to find dissatisfaction and unhappiness at every turn.
Here's the thing. Interview and hiring processes are long for a reason. This is where you're supposed to work all of these things out. The hiring manager should have vetted your capabilities as an employee. They should have determined your fit in the first place.
On the other side, we should all be asking pertinent questions throughout the interview process to avoid finding ourselves in a new job we hate.
7. You're ALREADY CRYING
There must be a statistic about how long it takes to experience real burnout.
For me, it took all of five weeks. I remember my mother-in-law was visiting during my last week working and I barely saw her. When I did, I was either tearfully leaving at 7 am or tearfully returning from a string of 16-hour days.
Yes, there are growing pains in new jobs. Yes, there are always uncomfortable personalities with which you might be forced to work. Yes, your professional life will be challenging at times—and that's how we grow.
However, if you're coming home crying from what was supposed to be your new dream job with exciting projects and unmatched potential, let me just say NO.
Your first weeks or work should at least feel a little like dating—a little uncomfortable, but you should also feel like you're being wooed a little bit. The company culture shouldn't already be stinking like hot garbage on a New York street curb in August by week two.
If it is, if your new gig is bringing more stress and regrets than promise and hope, it's never too early to write that resignation letter.
What to Do When You Hate Your Job
So much is tied up in our jobs—and it takes so long to find a new one. Money is tight and you can't go back to your old position. Finally, tack on the embarrassment you could expose yourself to after quitting a job you only held for weeks.
1. Don't Throw In The Towel Just Yet
Have I whined enough about the terrible job I hated once upon a time? Okay, then.
Don't throw in the towel because you hate one boss or have one unfriendly coworker. Try to find kindness and mentorship where you can. The work might be challenging at first, but that's fine too. Pay attention to what you can do differently. Ask those around you for their best advice. Lean into your mistakes and find ways to avoid them in the future.
You should be allowed to have this time to ease into your new job without being made to feel bad. You just arrived here!
However, if you cannot shake the feeling that you are heading to a bad place to work for bad people and it's hurting your actual soul, get out.
2. Get To Know Your Co-Workers
We all have the one work bestie that we went through it with. Every job has its challenging moments—and your work bestie is the one that shepherds you through.
Assuming they're not the issue at hand, get to know your coworkers. Ask them for help or guidance. Ask them about their experiences when they were new. Find common ground and places to connect. You might find that you're not alone and that you can change some of the more unpleasant problems together.
3. Ask For Help
Always ask for help. This is what the whole onboarding process is for, anyway. No workplace is going to expect you to know where they keep the spoons in the office kitchen on day one. Ask where they are.
Aside from gaining clarity, asking questions in your first weeks will show what kind of culture you've landed in. If there's "never any time" to learn a simple task or explain a decision, the workplace might be broken, anyway.
4. Take Care of You
If you take one thing from this article, take this final bit.
You'll know when you need to throw in the towel for yourself.
It's hard to put into words how quickly and deftly a boss can undermine your confidence and steal it all away. It's like they're taking a melon baller to your experience, accomplishments, and skills—and they scoop it all out, leaving you feeling useless and beholden to your crappy new job.
Forget that nonsense. If you hate your new job, you don't have to go looking for the silver linings or "wait it out" a year for your resume.
Your time is precious. Find your new position—and never forget what you wouldn't stand for in a job you hated.
