This assumes I led the “normal” life and went to college before starting out professionally. I had a different trajectory, having married and had three children by age 20, then starting college. At first I only had access to a community college, so it took 12 years to get my bachelor’s degree. After I got my broadcasting license via community college, my first job was working at an FM radio station owned by a friend. I asked him for the job because I could flex my schedule around my children and my husband’s working hours. I worked part-time there for about two years, mostly nights and Sunday afternoons. On Sunday afternoons I ran a classical music show. The music was recorded so I didn’t have to worry about that, but often listeners would call and ask questions. I knew very little about classical music but I would grab the description and try to sound reasonably informed. 

My next job after the radio station was teaching Head Start, a preschool program for low-income children. The late Mildred Chaffin was the director. She didn’t inspire me so much as push me to do things I never would have thought I could do. She saw in me more than I saw in myself. When she asked, or rather insisted, that I develop a parent-child interaction program and present the results as part of a national initiative, I learned I could conceive and lead a project to fruition. That helped me have the confidence to take on other challenges and opportunities. I learned to “just say yes.” And that has led to many exciting adventures. 

No Excuses required a lifetime of learning and several decades of being an activist for women. The specific idea came after I wrote an article for ELLE Magazine in 2008 about women running for office, and I learned the real story is that they don’t. I concluded the reason women have been stuck at 18% of top leadership positions across all sectors for almost 20 years is an ambivalent relationship with power. Then I realized that the same dynamics that hold women back in politics are at work in business and professional life and even personal life.

As a practical activist I didn’t want to write another book that told women what’s wrong with us—I wanted to explain the problem and then offer solutions, tips and tools real women could use immediately to break through to leadership parity. My book agent liked the idea, so I wrote the proposal in the first half of 2009, we sold it to Seal Press in the fall of that year and the book was published in October of 2010. It came out in paperback in 2012 with some updates, including questions for book groups in it.

We grow our courage muscles like we grow our physical muscles—by using them. The way to get over being intimidated is to do the thing that intimidates you until it loses its power to inhibit you. Eleanor Roosevelt said we should do something we fear every day. That’s very good advice.

I stay motivated by working on challenges that are larger than myself. I find it energizing and inspiring to have a part in making social change for the better. Before I do a talk, I confer with the group that is hiring me to find out what their goals are and I customize my presentation for them. But I do always try to inspire people to aim high, take risks, and realize that what they do when they take on leadership roles is more than what they do as individuals—it paves the way for the next woman.   

Ha! There is no average day. A few givens: I do not do breakfast meetings. I do exercise every day, preferably in the morning. I work at home. I try to schedule meetings that must be away from home for teatime when I am less productive with my writing and the many other tasks I manage for Take The Lead events.

If your passion can become your career or vice versa, that is ideal. If not, like other appointments, you could try blocking out specific amounts of time to devote to your passions.

The two things I derive most of my personal rewards from currently are delivering a great speech that moves an audience to take action and being alone writing. Sounds odd and paradoxical, doesn’t it? I have always loved doing things others say are impossible, like getting legislation passed to require contraceptive coverage by insurance plans, and turning around an entire organizational mindset so that it believed it could actually achieve such proactive legislation.

I think the biggest challenge for anyone in a leadership role is to create the meaning, and the framework in which others can do their jobs. I can’t accomplish much of anything by myself.

Right now I am doing that for Take The Lead. It has a big vision and we will achieve it—but it’s going to be a wild ride and we need all the help we can get. Yes, this is a blatant invitation to Career Contessa readers!

Growing Take The Lead to the scale necessary to reach its ambitious goals. I believe that will be my best legacy. Then, I’ll finally get onto that next book.