Balancing work and life is tough. Add motherhood, and you've got the recipe for a superhuman. We're teaming up with Blue Apron to bring you Moms at Work Week, a celebration of all the women who pull it off.
If you’re like many new moms preparing to go back to work, you’re probably exhausted, overwhelmed, and facing a lot of uncertainty. That's why we asked Lisa Abramson, the founder of Wise Mama (and one of our recent webinar hosts) to weigh in.
Obviously, childcare tops the list, and that's critical for getting back to work. But what else should you be thinking about? This list will help you to transition back into work like a pro.
Psst. Scroll down to snag Lisa's downloadable guide to making the most of your maternity leave. It's on us.
Psst. Scroll down to snag Lisa's downloadable guide to making the most of your maternity leave. It's on us.
1. Do A Practice Run....Or Two Or Three
If you go the nanny route, have them come to your house for a few trial runs and leave home while they are there. The first time you leave your child will be very emotional, so it’s best if this doesn’t coincide with your emotional first day back in the office. Practice and time your morning routine so you know how long you need on a typical morning. By testing it out with your nanny, you can also see what else they might be able to help with, like laundry, preparing meals, or even some light housekeeping.
2. Make Time For Self-Care
Put your oxygen mask on first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will be in no shape to care for others or handle your workload. Incorporate self-care into your schedule before you go back to work to get into the habit. For example, do a seven minute workout routine with your baby watching, or make yourself a cup of tea and sip slowly on it. Calling a friend or writing in your journal are great ideas as well. Find other resources to support you during your transition back into work, like postnatal yoga, personal training, acupuncture, or meeting with a naturopath. Try any of these during your lunch hour or on your way home from work. As a new mom, it’s easy to put yourself on the back burner, but it’s important to keep taking care of yourself.
3. Practice Mindfulness
It will be challenging and painful the first time you leave your baby. Practice mindfulness in those moments by embracing those feelings and experiencing them fully without judgment. Then remember that those powerful feelings are just signs of how much you love your little one. If you need help starting a mindfulness practice but are short on time (what new mom isn’t?!), try this Meditation Challenge that teaches you to meditate in only five minutes per day. Many apps like Insight Timer provide meditations to use while you’re commuting, walking, or trying to fall asleep at night.
4. Connect With Your Values And Define What Success Means To You
When we’re tackling transitions, the uncertainty can overwhelm us and we forget why we do the things we do. If we’re at a crossroads, it can be helpful to examine our values so we can connect what we’re doing with why we’re doing it. That way, we avoid the painful trap of sacrificing our free time and sanity in the name of success only to be left wondering, "Was it really worth it?" Also make sure you’re not chasing someone else’s version of success and create a path forward that’s right for you. If you’re feeling frustrated and notice your inner critic getting louder, remember that being a working mom is not synonymous with “bad mom” and that you can be both a wonderful mother and a working mom.
5. Get Support And Ask For What You Need
Don’t be afraid to ask for help—and ask other moms how they do it. Many of the overachieving women that I coach find it tremendously difficult to ask for help because they have created a strong identity around being self-sufficient. Softening your need to “do it all” will help you transition back into work and make your life easier. I often tell my coaching clients that it’s not a weakness to ask for help—it’s a sign of strength. When you’re struggling, remember how rewarding it feels to help someone else, and share that positive energy by allowing others to support you.
6. Practice Saying No...Without The Guilt
It’s so simple in concept, yet so hard in reality. If you have trouble saying no, practice by turning down small things before tackling the big stuff. You will want to be firm with your no, because otherwise you’ll end up drawing out the process and wasting additional time and energy. It often feels more natural to say no with an appreciation sandwich. Here’s an example: “I appreciate you getting in touch, but I’m unable to co-lead the preschool picnic this year. Thank you for leading the charge, though—I appreciate your dedication to the school!”
7. Prioritize Sleep
I can’t help but include this tip, even though it probably seems obvious and impossible at once. Do whatever you can to protect your sleep because it’s the most non-negotiable element to your well-being. So even if it means letting your partner do a night feeding, or leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen, or letting the bed go unmade for days, prioritize your sleep. Invest in an eye mask and earplugs so that when you do sleep, it’s high quality. That means putting away your phone. The extra time spent checking Facebook, and then Instagram, and then rechecking Facebook before bed not only pushes back our bedtime, but it also disrupts the production of melatonin and messes with our sleep cycles. Like most people, I’m hooked on my phone, so I actually removed it from my bedroom to avoid the temptation. My phone now peacefully charges each night in the kitchen, far out of my reach.
8. Plan And Delegate
Setting clear expectations with your partner about responsibilities at home is important in any marriage. In a marriage with children, it’s crucial. Can’t convince your partner to do more around the house? Send them the study showing that couples have more sex when they share household chores. Another power tip for working moms is to do meal planning every Sunday night. This will save you the hassle of figuring out dinner every night as your stomach grumbles and get seriously hangry.
9. Pay It Forward
Start a support group for moms at your company. If necessary, meet to HR with suggest improvements to their leave policies and strategies for reintegrating moms into work post-maternity leave. For proof, point to research showing that great parental leave policies help companies attract and retain top talent.
The transition back to work after having a baby can be rocky. But with these tips in hand, you'll be better prepared for what lies ahead.
Have you returned to work after having a baby? What helped you through your transition? Tell us in the comments below.
Feature image courtesy of Emily Henderson
The transition back to work after having a baby can be rocky. But with these tips in hand, you'll be better prepared for what lies ahead.
Have you returned to work after having a baby? What helped you through your transition? Tell us in the comments below.
Feature image courtesy of Emily Henderson
