Everyone’s relationship with money is unique—however, I think we can mostly agree that money does yield the ability to have choices and flexibility in your career and life.
Like quitting a job you hate, paying for life conveniences like Uber and Postmates, or investing in a home to call your own. Money is great like that but it’s also responsible for causing stress, breaking up relationships, and removing options from you if you can’t afford something.
For many of us, myself included, your amount of income might also be a measure of your self-worth. If you have a high salary, you might think it also means you have a higher status. And if your salary is lower than someone in your circle (like a spouse), you might think you need to compensate in other ways because you feel inadequate. Regardless of where your income level stands, I know for certain that you’re building a really shaky foundation for life when you intertwine your identity with your compensation.
But this isn’t all on you. The link between salary and feelings of success may be hard-wired in you thanks to being asked to “know your worth” or “ask for your worth” in salary negotiation tips and techniques. Or the constant ability to compare what your have to strangers on the internet. Or, lastly, the belief that if you had more money, you’d be happier.
Pardon our interruption—this is Career Contessa. Join us for this episode of The Femails where we share three money Power Moves to make today—including how to separate your self-worth from your net worth.
Listen to the full episode over on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Google Podcasts. A full transcription of the episode can be found here. Now, back to the article.
I’d like to encourage all of us to put an end to this thinking, language, and technique. Not only is connecting your self-worth to your net worth a losing game but it also throws a huge wrench into that whole self-acceptance thing.
If these feelings sound familiar, it’s time to reprogram your mindset so you don’t fall back into this unhealthy habit.
- Find examples in your life that are not related to money that make you feel good about yourself. Share those moments with friends, family, and even write them down. The goal is to start associating your self-worth with feelings and experiences that deserve it.
- Once you identify a theme in the activities that support your new mindset, create more evidence of those activities. For example, if volunteering your time helps you shift your mindset, seek out more volunteer opportunities.
- Spend time with people whose views on money are different and support your new mindset. Ditch the friend that’s always talking about how much money she makes or flaunts her newest online order.
- Create a healthy money mantra. You can even take mine: “My self-worth does not equal my net worth.”
Shifting your mindset will not be easy—but in the long-term, your mental, physical, and emotional health with thank you profusely.
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