Setback. Noun. A reversal or check in progress.
I recently found myself sitting on a panel surrounded by some amazing entrepreneurial women as we discussed major setbacks we've experienced. As we shared, we all noted a clear pattern—that what started as a painful situation or mistake eventually evolved into a step towards fulfilling future goals.
I started my career working in politics. I thought the best way to make an impact in the world would be to help elect people to Congress and the White House who would change the world through large systems and policies. I was lucky enough to find myself in my early 20s working for a fantastic boss at an exciting organization.
At the time, I wasn’t self-aware enough to really understand what my unique strengths and motivations were or that they were critical to picking jobs that would allow me to be my best self. I was also impatient to do more and experience more. This combination ultimately led to me leaving that great, stable job in favor of jumping on a two-month campaign.
I started my career working in politics. I thought the best way to make an impact in the world would be to help elect people to Congress and the White House who would change the world through large systems and policies. I was lucky enough to find myself in my early 20s working for a fantastic boss at an exciting organization.
At the time, I wasn’t self-aware enough to really understand what my unique strengths and motivations were or that they were critical to picking jobs that would allow me to be my best self. I was also impatient to do more and experience more. This combination ultimately led to me leaving that great, stable job in favor of jumping on a two-month campaign.
The Moment of Misstep
For anyone who doesn’t know what it’s like to work on a political campaign, let me paint a picture for you:
6:30am: Wake up and drive to an office full of donated furniture, weird smelling carpet, and lots of energy
8am: Try to focus as you cozy up to the morning staff meeting with an XXL coffee
9am: Start your never-ending to-do list of tasks related to fundraising, working with outside stakeholders, identifying and persuading voters, and influencing the media
5:30pm: Dread the 5:30pm call time announcement which means it’s time to grab talking points and settle in for 3+ hours of phone calls to voters. [Insert trips to the communal volunteer-provided food table every 30 minutes to grab now-cold pizza and internally debate eating another slice as your pants no longer button because you haven’t exercised in weeks.]. Commiserate/laugh/cry with other staffers about that conversation you just had with an angry voter who yelled at you about how he’s gotten five calls in the last two days
9pm: Wait for the clock to run out and wrap up final must-do work items before tomorrow
9:45pm: Head to the bar for one quick beer with other staffers to decompress
11pm: Get home, throw laundry in the washer when you remember you put on dirty clothes this morning because you haven’t done laundry in weeks (because you haven’t had a day off in weeks). Call your significant other/family member/friend who’s left you three voicemails in the last month and doesn’t really understand what you do and why you never call them back. Fall asleep waiting for the dryer to finish.
8am: Try to focus as you cozy up to the morning staff meeting with an XXL coffee
9am: Start your never-ending to-do list of tasks related to fundraising, working with outside stakeholders, identifying and persuading voters, and influencing the media
5:30pm: Dread the 5:30pm call time announcement which means it’s time to grab talking points and settle in for 3+ hours of phone calls to voters. [Insert trips to the communal volunteer-provided food table every 30 minutes to grab now-cold pizza and internally debate eating another slice as your pants no longer button because you haven’t exercised in weeks.]. Commiserate/laugh/cry with other staffers about that conversation you just had with an angry voter who yelled at you about how he’s gotten five calls in the last two days
9pm: Wait for the clock to run out and wrap up final must-do work items before tomorrow
9:45pm: Head to the bar for one quick beer with other staffers to decompress
11pm: Get home, throw laundry in the washer when you remember you put on dirty clothes this morning because you haven’t done laundry in weeks (because you haven’t had a day off in weeks). Call your significant other/family member/friend who’s left you three voicemails in the last month and doesn’t really understand what you do and why you never call them back. Fall asleep waiting for the dryer to finish.
It’s an environment ripe for an amazing experience where you end up with a million inside jokes, friendships that last a lifetime, romances that keep you going on four hours of sleep night after night, and a fire ignited in you that makes you feel like you can change the world.
It’s also an environment that can be ripe for disaster and the potential for everyone’s worst self to come out. For me, on this particular campaign, it was the latter. The mandatory office hours fueled physical exhaustion and resentment. And the burnt out, negative, and competitive colleagues increased my sensitivity and emotional exhaustion.
It’s also an environment that can be ripe for disaster and the potential for everyone’s worst self to come out. For me, on this particular campaign, it was the latter. The mandatory office hours fueled physical exhaustion and resentment. And the burnt out, negative, and competitive colleagues increased my sensitivity and emotional exhaustion.
Facing the Aftermath of a setback
But in many ways, the worst part of this experience wasn’t the actual time I was on the campaign, but what happened afterward. I found myself second-guessing what I really wanted to do in my career and what I was really good at.
I found it hard to find the right job after the campaign ended and eventually had to take a step down in pay and level to work back up to where I wanted to be. I muddled through interviews where I had to find a way to talk about the experience in a professional way that didn’t let on that I’d been miserable.
It’s easy to think from the outside that everyone’s path is totally linear and progressive, but I know from working with so many people that this is not the case inwardly for most people.
I found it hard to find the right job after the campaign ended and eventually had to take a step down in pay and level to work back up to where I wanted to be. I muddled through interviews where I had to find a way to talk about the experience in a professional way that didn’t let on that I’d been miserable.
It’s easy to think from the outside that everyone’s path is totally linear and progressive, but I know from working with so many people that this is not the case inwardly for most people.
So how do you come back?
1. Learn from the Mistake
I know, it sounds so…Yeah, duh, of course.
On a basic level, for me, this meant making sure that every job I’ve ever had since then has a clear, written job description and understanding of what I’m stepping into. Not only does this clarify everyone’s expectations, but it sets you up to understand what success looks like in the position.
On a deeper level, it meant reflecting on why this experience was so challenging. In particular, I learned that there are specific qualities and characteristics that are absolutely critical for me in a work environment for me to be my best self. When you do this reflective work, you can almost create a checklist for the most important qualities in a role, environment, team, and boss. I’ve used this checklist many times, including when I decided to start my own business, to make sure I’m making a smart, strategic decision.
With every experience—whether it’s a professional experience or even online dating—we all learn more about who we are, what we want, and how to find the right fit. This self-awareness is key to your future self’s happiness.
On a basic level, for me, this meant making sure that every job I’ve ever had since then has a clear, written job description and understanding of what I’m stepping into. Not only does this clarify everyone’s expectations, but it sets you up to understand what success looks like in the position.
On a deeper level, it meant reflecting on why this experience was so challenging. In particular, I learned that there are specific qualities and characteristics that are absolutely critical for me in a work environment for me to be my best self. When you do this reflective work, you can almost create a checklist for the most important qualities in a role, environment, team, and boss. I’ve used this checklist many times, including when I decided to start my own business, to make sure I’m making a smart, strategic decision.
With every experience—whether it’s a professional experience or even online dating—we all learn more about who we are, what we want, and how to find the right fit. This self-awareness is key to your future self’s happiness.
2. Move Forward Professionally
It’s worth saying that lying or omitting the experience from your resume is not the best way to go about moving forward. In many industries—politics included—networks are small!
One of the most important ways to ensure you’re ready to move forward is to make sure you’re prepared to talk about the experience in a professional, polished, and yet authentic way. This part is really difficult because it forces you to talk about the experience in a way that feels awkward or uncomfortable. It took me a while to figure out how important this part is. Getting outside help is often critical—from a friend, mentor, or a coach.
As I’ve seen many times, being able to professionally communicate about your experience is the difference between letting the experience ruin just the time you’re in the job, versus the years after the experience is long over as well.
One of the most important ways to ensure you’re ready to move forward is to make sure you’re prepared to talk about the experience in a professional, polished, and yet authentic way. This part is really difficult because it forces you to talk about the experience in a way that feels awkward or uncomfortable. It took me a while to figure out how important this part is. Getting outside help is often critical—from a friend, mentor, or a coach.
As I’ve seen many times, being able to professionally communicate about your experience is the difference between letting the experience ruin just the time you’re in the job, versus the years after the experience is long over as well.
3. Build Your Armor
A recent Harvard Business Review article discusses the link between self-awareness and resilience:
“Adversity in organizational life, sometimes the result of major change, sometimes the provocateur of it, is a way of life today. Leaders need higher levels of resilience in constant reserve to weather this new normal. Those leaders with strong self-knowledge — who have a clear understanding of their skills and shortcomings, their frustrations, and their core principles — are more likely to sustain those needed reserves of resilience to thrive through adversity and change.”
In other words, handling future challenges gets easier when you build this resilience muscle. Knowing why something didn’t work out contributes to your understanding of yourself in a way that makes it so you wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Think of it as another layer of your protective armor for the future. There’s a reason the ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ motto has been around for a long time.
“Adversity in organizational life, sometimes the result of major change, sometimes the provocateur of it, is a way of life today. Leaders need higher levels of resilience in constant reserve to weather this new normal. Those leaders with strong self-knowledge — who have a clear understanding of their skills and shortcomings, their frustrations, and their core principles — are more likely to sustain those needed reserves of resilience to thrive through adversity and change.”
In other words, handling future challenges gets easier when you build this resilience muscle. Knowing why something didn’t work out contributes to your understanding of yourself in a way that makes it so you wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Think of it as another layer of your protective armor for the future. There’s a reason the ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ motto has been around for a long time.
4. Let the Experience Lead You
If I hadn’t had a few challenges early on in my career, I probably wouldn’t have been motivated and inspired to do what I do now. Not long after this setback, I found myself helping political operatives grow and develop in their careers. And all of that led me to start a business a few years ago where my mission is to help others make strategic, less stressful career transitions.
My own career challenges have contributed to why I am able to connect with others who are struggling or facing a pivot point. So asking yourself, "What does this experience lead me to want to do next?" might lead you down a somewhat different path than you had thought—and it might be even better than you imagined.
I see how common it is for people to dwell on a negative experience in a way that prevents them from moving forward positively and confidently. Sometimes the best medicine for handling it is time.
Last, but certainly not least, it’s so important to recognize that setbacks are part of building a well-lived life; a life where you’re stretching yourself. Anyone who pushes themselves out of their comfort zone will likely, at some point, face a major challenge.
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success.” – JK Rowling
I’ve seen for so many others, myself included, how setbacks eventually lead to greater success and happiness.
My own career challenges have contributed to why I am able to connect with others who are struggling or facing a pivot point. So asking yourself, "What does this experience lead me to want to do next?" might lead you down a somewhat different path than you had thought—and it might be even better than you imagined.
I see how common it is for people to dwell on a negative experience in a way that prevents them from moving forward positively and confidently. Sometimes the best medicine for handling it is time.
Last, but certainly not least, it’s so important to recognize that setbacks are part of building a well-lived life; a life where you’re stretching yourself. Anyone who pushes themselves out of their comfort zone will likely, at some point, face a major challenge.
“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success.” – JK Rowling
I’ve seen for so many others, myself included, how setbacks eventually lead to greater success and happiness.
Have you found that a setback in your own life led you to make moves in your career?
