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It’s time to talk about money. Let's get uncomfortable.
Specifically, let's talk about why women are still making less in spite of doing equal (and, in most cases, more) work.
Here’s what we already know.
Women earn $.82 on the dollar compared to men.
But the numbers get more daunting when you break the statistics down by race. If you’re a Black woman, you earn $.62 on the dollar. If you’re a LatinX woman, you earn $.54 on the dollar. And if you're a Native American woman, you earn $.51 on the dollar.
In honor of Black Women’s Equal Pay Day, for this article, I’m focusing on the impact of pay for Black women.
The "Women Don't Ask for Money" Excuse, Debunked
When it comes to the reasons why Black women aren’t making more money, we often hear, "Well, Black women don't ask for more money," but that actually isn't true.
According to Lean In, Black women ask for promotions and raises at about the same rates as white women and men. But the "broken rung" still holds them back at the first critical step up to manager. For every 100 men promoted to manager, only 58 Black women are promoted.
This is not a matter of asking; this is a matter of deeply ingrained institutional racism. The pay gap is not about a single paycheck. Over the course of the average Black woman’s career, the lost income adds up to almost a million dollars compared to white men.
We need to do something now. The good thing is, we actually can.
Why We Should Talk to Colleagues About Salary
Let’s agree that it is considered intrinsically taboo to talk about money, especially when you’re a woman of color. We have been programmed to devalue our talents.
The "why" on origin varies, but the bottom line is that we are taught to be grateful for any and every opportunity we have. It doesn’t matter if we earned the opportunity. It doesn’t matter how hard we worked to get the opportunity.
At the end of the day, we are to be grateful, and we are encouraged not to question it. Ask yourself this: who does this gag order benefit?
I would like for us to stop this tradition and start holding companies accountable. The fact is, we actually should be talking about salary, and here’s why.
You cannot hold companies accountable for their inequitable practices if you don’t have a baseline for the pay gap. Period. The end. Hard stop.
So let’s talk about how you can start these conversations.
How Do You Actually Have the Conversation?
It’s probably going to be uncomfortable to have the conversation, but do it anyway. When you are making an institutional change, it will be uncomfortable because you are going against the status quo. But small steps are still steps.
Before we head into what to say, here are two super important pointers to note:
1. Make Sure You Have Built Rapport
It is extremely important to make sure that you have honest rapport. Asking sensitive questions about salary without a bond will come off as intrusive and investigative. Take the time to build rapport with your colleagues before you have this conversation.
2. Don’t Take It Personally
Remember, you are information-gathering about the company’s patterns, so your conversation with your colleague is not personal.
This means it’s not your colleague's fault if your employer is inequitable. It’s the employer's fault. If you learn jarring information, take note of it, but don’t take it out on your colleague.
How to Ask What Salary Someone Earns: A Few Scripts
Now to the nitty-gritty. Here are some suggestions about how you can ask your colleagues about salary.
How to Ask for Someone's Salary When You Suspect You're Being Underpaid
“Hey, [NAME]! I wanted to ask you about something that’s been concerning me for a while. I suspect that I’m being underpaid in our position in comparison to other colleagues, and I wanted to ask for your insight. They’re paying me [SALARY]. Is that what they’re paying you too?"
That last line is a little tricky, which is no surprise. That's why I've included a few other ways to ask that last question.
- Is that less than what they’re paying you?
- Is that what you’re being paid?
- Do you earn over or under [insert amount here]?
- What’s the ballpark of your salary?
There are different options regarding how to ask the question, but the point is that you need to ask the question!
How to Ask for Someone's Salary When You're About to Be Promoted
"Hey X! I am up for a promotion which will put me in [POSITION TITLE] similar to yours. In preparing for my interview and in the interest of salary transparency, I wanted to ask what salary you earned when you first started in this role. I want to make sure I am matching my experience with the correct rate."
Once again, here are a few other ways to ask the salary question:
- I was hoping to ask for between [NUMBER] and [NUMBER] range. Does your salary fit into that ask?
- The salary number I've come up with is [NUMBER]. Does that seem accurate to you?
What to Do When Your Colleague Doesn't Want to Disclose Salary
If your colleague is caught off guard or doesn't want to discuss, that's okay too. We're all here trying to unlearn a giant taboo.
If your colleague is less than receptive, here's what you could say next:
“I completely understand! Talking about money isn’t the easiest thing. I just want to make sure I’m being paid equitably." [Then, change the subject.]
That’s it! Now that you have the framework for the conversation, get out there and ask!
