Let me be honest. I've run out of room to feel guilty over simple pleasures.
Have you ever read a schedule of a high-performing CEO or personality?
I have. They're some of the greatest works of fiction I've ever laid my eyes upon! The schedule usually starts with an alarm clock going off at 4:00 a.m. and said personality "hopping" right out of bed. Hopping.
From there, a highly-orchestrated morning routine takes place. Somehow, five hours of activities are concentrated into 45 minutes—all well before the sky has had the chance to lighten. Then comes the 90 minutes of exercise, slow-drip pour-over coffee, and—I think you get the gist.
I love habits and rituals. I have a few of my own that help me work at my own peak productivity, but I can't help but think these "schedules" serve another purpose.
Articles like that, I believe, are designed to make us feel bad. Some mornings, I hit my snooze button 11 times, only to roll out of bed like a zombie. Did I really need to rewatch Season One of Real Housewives of New York in its entirety last night? Objection, your honor! Relevance?
So, I am refocusing on what I can do, trashing what doesn't serve me, and leaning into the small pleasures that I refuse to feel guilty about.
Table of Contents
- Putting Me First for Self-Preservation aka "Flaking"
- Laziness (It's Not a Dirty Word!)
- Getting Dressed Up With Nowhere to Go
- Buying Something I Don't "Need"
- Eating Whatever I Want
- Dipping Into Nostalgia
- Seeking Outside Validation
- Taking Personality Quizzes
- Doing What I Want
- Admitting I Don't Know Something (Then Learning More)
Here Are My Favorite "Guilty Pleasures" That I'm No Longer Guilty About
These are all of my "bad habits," my own (formerly) guilty pleasures, and my own opinions.
I work hard. When work is over, I work even harder to keep two small humans alive by intercepting every small thing they can insert into their mouths and intercepting any leaps off higher surfaces. So, I am taking the guilt out of any recharge time I choose to take. I'm tired!
I'm giving myself permission to indulge in that which brings me genuine joy. Let this be your permission, too.
1. Putting Me First for Self-Preservation aka "Flaking"
Pre-quarantine, my friends would probably tiptoe around the word "flake" when describing me—and they wouldn't be entirely wrong.
Here's the thing, though. I'll never flake when you really need me. However, I will absolutely flake on "Friday drinks" or a 35-person dinner party (c'mon!!!) if I'm particularly tired. What's more? I'd be delighted if you flaked on me!
I'm taking the time to prioritize a mental break when I don't want to be surrounded by others.
That's because I try to put myself first when it comes to sleep, restoration, or general "solitude time."
What it looks like:
- Saying "no"
- Saying "yes," then changing my mind
- Turning my phone on airplane mode for a day
2. Laziness
I...don't really like the word "lazy."
It feels extremely loaded to me. Today, we have fitness trackers with unlimited pieces of data on our steps, calories, flights climbed, stride length, and the list goes on. Laziness feels like less of an "option" than ever before.
Here's the thing. You're only going to really achieve success through continued hard work. Nothing happens overnight.
HOWEVER, it is crucial to have some downtime in which to recharge. It doesn't make you slothlike. It doesn't reframe you as a lazy person. It's crucial to keeping yourself and your energy intact.
What it looks like:
- Spending all day in my PJs (+ throwing on a sweater for any Zoom calls)
- Hitting snooze—18 times
3. Getting Dressed Up With Nowhere to Go (aka "Feeling Myself")
Now that so many of us work a remote or hybrid work schedule, some of us have been relegated to sweatpants for over a year—and I'm not complaining about that. But sometimes you want to get into a pair of pants (with buttons!) and some lipstick.
Sometimes, usually after a four-day spree of wearing the same sweater and leggings duo, I get the motivation to get dressed up—to feel human from head to toe.
What it looks like:
- Full-on Instagram photo shoot in my bedroom
- Putting lipstick on (even if it ends up rubbing off on the inside of my facemask)
- Dressing up like I'm actually going to work in an office, down to the shoes
4. Buying Something I Don't "Need"
I'm not sure I need to explain this one, but I will. Money is precious, especially in the past couple of years, when so many people lost or had to level their sources of income. I'm definitely not advocating irresponsible spending, but I am definitely advocating for the occasional "treat yourself" moment.
I was actually really inspired by this episode of The Career Contessa Podcast, where YNAB founder Jesse Mecham talks about his four rules to gain control of your money. One of the rules is to "consider future you" while keeping present-day you happy, too.
So, if you think future you will thank you for those comfy pajamas that keep popping up on your IG feed, maybe get them?
What it looks like:
- Finally giving into that Instagram ad
- Filling my digital shopping cart—and actually checking out
- Buying something that sparks joy—and that's it
5. Eating Whatever I Want
We never talk about diet culture here at Career Contessa, because, quite honestly, we all need a break from it. You don't have to look far to see it. There are so many messages about "quarantine weight gain"—and don't get me started on the whole "post-b*by body" shaming that goes on.
I'm not indulging any of this noise in 2022—I'm ignoring as much as I can.
What it looks like:
- Getting Door Dash because I don't feel like cooking
- Cutting out the narrative that I had "too much" of this so I shouldn't have that
- Indulging in pure comfort foods in times of stress—and finishing the carton if I feel like it
6. Dipping Into Nostalgia
Nostalgia is a thing because it offers comfort and predictability in a world that can be anything but. Get your brain's limbic system going by playing Jagged Little Pill over and over while cooking some familiar recipes. Nostalgia is good for your brain and body.
What it looks like:
- Revisiting every movie from my childhood on Disney+
- Letting The Golden Girls lull me to sleep
- Cooking a recipe my mother used to make
- Spending a day going through old yearbooks trying to remember what any of these "inside jokes" actually meant
7. Seeking *Some* Validation from Others
Before going into this one, I want to say that I think we should build our confidence from the inside out. That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with seeking *some* validation from the outside. It never feels bad to share some good news with a friend or loved one—and take the time to celebrate it together.
What it looks like:
- Terrorizing my closest loved ones until they say something nice (Just kidding, sort of)
- Sharing an accomplishment with friends, family, or coworkers
- Creating a space to exchange compliments with friends, family, coworkers, or your partner
8. Taking Personality Quizzes
There's a reason that personality quizzes are so popular. It's fun to answer a few questions to gain more insight into yourself. Me? I enjoy a Buzzfeed quiz as much as I enjoy a more serious personality quiz about the type of person I am and how I work with others.
So, whether you need to know your Myers-Briggs personality type or you can't figure out what Disney princess you are according to your favorite bagel (really), it can be your time to find out!
What it looks like:
- Spending hours on Buzzfeed to learn what 1990s rom coms you should watch next
- Taking career personality tests to see how I work with others
9. Doing What I Want
If this one sounds selfish, it's because it is. I'm taking a page out of my toddler's playbook here, and I'm doing what I want!
Of course, I have responsibilities that include my job and my child. However, to be successful in my career and as a mother, I need to take some needed me time.
Taking time to do whatever you want is showing yourself some self-compassion—and we should do that whenever we can!
What it looks like:
- Skipping the gym Zoom and paying the $10 late cancel fee
- Rewatching every RHONY season, for the third time
- Catching a productivity wave at 9:00 p.m. and unapologetically riding it
10. Admitting I Don't Know Something (Then Learning More)
Okay, this one isn't really a "pleasure" per se, but it's applicable. I want to lean into my gaps in knowledge and open myself to learning more.
I'm the type of person who could slip and fall on a banana peel in front of absolutely nobody. Instead of pretending it never happened and shouldering my embarrassment, I tell everyone. I think this is partly due to paranoia that somebody saw me fall on a hidden camera. Either way, I like to think I own my mistakes—the sooner the better.
I believe that the faster you lean into your mistakes, the more you're opening yourself to actually learn.
