Nobody is listing "stubborn and unwilling to change" on their resume—and yet we definitely see it in the workplace.
Have you ever had a stalemate standoff with a loved one? You know, the kind of argument where you’re not even sure where the disagreement started?
Well, when it’s your sister or your partner, you probably come out on the other side laughing and, hopefully, stronger than ever.
The same is unfortunately not true when dealing with stubbornness at work. A stubborn boss or coworker can put serious obstacles in the way of the entire organization. And stubbornness mixed with a ton of ego? Whew, don’t get us started!
Let’s talk about recognizing one of our least favorite anti-skills, stubbornness, in the workplace—even if it’s (gulp) you as the perpetrator.
5 Ways Being Stubborn Ruins Your Career
Before we go into how stubbornness could wreak havoc on your career, let’s acknowledge one fact.
Stubbornness will hurt you and your team. Stubborn leaders actually prevent forward movement, even when their intentions are good.
One way to get rid of a stubborn mindset is to identify when your ego is getting too involved—and tell it to hit the road.
It’s not always completely obvious that someone is being stubborn, either. Sometimes, a stubborn coworker will listen to your ideas, nodding and enthusiastically agreeing, only to set off to do exactly what they were going to do in the first place. That’s where stubbornness globs onto another anti-skill we despise: dishonesty.
Here are five ways that being stubborn gets in the way of teamwork, forward movement, and morale.
Stubbornness Wastes Time + Creates Distrust
Listen up, leaders. Often, stubbornness comes from the tip-top of the workplace food chain because leaders are the only people who can really “afford” to stonewall improvements or progress.
You are in a leadership position for a reason. Maybe you’re a great leader, but leadership also means employing another very important L-word, listening.
If your entire team is railing against a project or a direction, try to take yourself out of your own head. Sure, maybe “your way” has worked 100 times before, but it might also be time for something new.
Especially when you have a team with fresh perspectives and developed skills, you'll want to keep innovating on ideas. Don’t get stuck on going with your idea for the sake of it. Take risks. Allow your team to be heard. Create new solutions for old problems.
By taking leaps of faith like this, you’re breathing life into your team’s morale and your company’s future.
Stubbornness Bottlenecks Projects
Hey, you. Yeah, you.
Do you really need to sign off on every detail of every stage of a project?
Sometimes, a stubborn nature manifests itself as micro-managing or a being a helicopter coworker. Guess what? Nobody likes a micro-manager.
Instead of wasting time by making sure every detail is run by you, create some space and flow by employing trust.
Stubbornness Creates Discord on Your Team
We all have great ideas at work, from time to time. It’s a great feeling and you can’t wait to share it with everyone.
Sometimes those great ideas take on a snowball effect. As a team touches the idea, they (usually) improve it by adding unique perspectives, skills, techniques, and problem-solving elements.
If you tend to be stubborn, once your idea gets back to you, it feels…unfamiliar. If you’re stubborn, you might filter your idea or project through your team, then decide it’s “my way or the highway,” and revert back to your original idea.
Not only is this a huge time-waste, but it’s also pretty tunnel-visioned and foolish. This is a great way to build discord with your team—by wasting five hours in an all-team brainstorm only to do exactly what you wanted to do.
Stubbornness Stunts Creativity
All of the above points feed directly into this one.
When you are being stubborn at work or when a stubborn person is in a leadership position, it stunts creativity.
Stubbornness at work is also commonly referred to as a “fixed mindset.” A fixed mindset, a term coined by Stanford professor Carol Dweck in her book, Mindset, describes people who see their qualities as fixed and, therefore, unchangeable.
A fixed leader will, over time, create a fixed team. A fixed team will recreate the same processes, over and over again, with no creativity infused.
Psychotherapist Dan Auerbach, director of Associated Counsellors and Psychologists Sydney, describes these types of people as rigid thinkers. Rigid thinkers suck enthusiasm and creative space out of the room.
“In a world where people are attracted to systems thinking and exact answers, there will be a lot of resistance to change,” he says.
A stubborn employee also stunts their own creativity by remaining fixed. This person might have “set rules” that inhibit them from trying something new, from making mistakes, from seeing surprising wins, and, most importantly, from learning new things.
How to Deal With a Stubborn Boss or Coworker
Dealing with stubborn people is simple, said nobody, ever.
It is possible to chip away at a stubborn coworker’s ways of thinking, but it can take dedication and effort—and, um, you have your own job to do.
Bring Data + Anecdotal Evidence
Trying to get some things to change around your workplace? We hear you. Just like negotiating a salary increase or a promotion in title, your best friend in getting a stubborn coworker or a stubborn boss to budge is going to be this: raw, irrefutable data.
If you want to take a project in a new direction, start a new initiative, or hire for a particular position only to be met with a hard no, bring some figures to the table.
Even better? Work those figured into a sleek presentation.
Start Small + Chip Away
Another way to deal with a stubborn coworker is to start small. Small, incremental changes are all the buzz now, but it’s because they work.
So far, we have been making our stubborn coworkers the sworn enemy, but it’s actually understandable. Change is hard. Change can be uncomfortable. For a leader, change can feel like losing control.
If your stubborn colleague doesn’t want to overhaul everything, suggest small, incremental steps to evolve over time. You may present this technique to your coworker or, you know, just wear them down with small changes over time.
When You Can (+ Should) Be Stubborn
Sometimes, stubbornness is actually a strength. This true, for example, when stubbornness is rooted in what you believe to be inherently right, when you’re amplifying someone else’s voice, or when you have data-driven proof that backs your idea.
You can be stubborn when you’re following your core beliefs and morality codes. You should be stubborn when it comes to standing up for what you believe. In fact, we like to call this "type" of stubbornness steadfastness.
A good gut check is to ask yourself what is driving you to be stubborn at any given moment. Are you feeling unrelenting because of your own ego? Are you doubling down because someone is being harmful? Are you standing up for yourself or your work?
It’s not always “wrong” to be stubborn. In these cases, it’s being steadfast and fighting for what is correct.
