Balancing work and life is tough. Add motherhood, and you've got the recipe for a superhuman. We're teaming up with Blue Apron to bring you Moms at Work Week, a celebration of all the women who pull it off.
Given that Melissa Schoffer Farber works for a company dedicated to fitness, she knows a thing or two about prioritizing health, wellness, and happiness despite long working hours.
So it's little surprise that she has some opinions about balancing time at the office and time with her 22-month-old, Harrison. She's believes to her core that women, and mothers in particular, can't and shouldn't "do it all." For Melissa, working motherhood means making time for what's important and getting creative—think daily FaceTimes with her son from the office—to make your life and career work for you.
On What Work Looks Like
Tells us a bit about what you do professionally.
I'm an in-house attorney at SoulCycle. (We interviewed her in detail about her work here).
What does your work schedule look like?
Full-time, Monday through Friday.
How do you manage work and home?
It’s a team effort that includes the support of my incredible husband and our beloved nanny.
I'm an in-house attorney at SoulCycle. (We interviewed her in detail about her work here).
What does your work schedule look like?
Full-time, Monday through Friday.
How do you manage work and home?
It’s a team effort that includes the support of my incredible husband and our beloved nanny.
ON WORKING MOTHERHOOD
What excites you most about working motherhood?
I grew up in a family business where we followed a model that work doesn’t feel like work when you love what you do. What excites me most is providing a strong model like this for my son. I want to inspire him to find a career path full of passion, drawing upon the childhood memories he has of his mother and father. My son is obsessed with my husband’s ties and my work bag, so I like to believe we’re off to a good start!
What does a typical day look like for you? When do you start your morning with kids and when do you head to work? What time do you get home?
For me, it is important that I anchor my son’s day. I get up and dressed before him so we can spend an hour together before I leave for work at 8. We do a daily FaceTime while I’m at work (grateful for smart phones!), and then I am home by 6 so we can have family time before he goes to bed. I wish there was more time together during the week, but I know that my son’s schedule is full of classes and friends, and we maximize family time every weekend!
I grew up in a family business where we followed a model that work doesn’t feel like work when you love what you do. What excites me most is providing a strong model like this for my son. I want to inspire him to find a career path full of passion, drawing upon the childhood memories he has of his mother and father. My son is obsessed with my husband’s ties and my work bag, so I like to believe we’re off to a good start!
What does a typical day look like for you? When do you start your morning with kids and when do you head to work? What time do you get home?
For me, it is important that I anchor my son’s day. I get up and dressed before him so we can spend an hour together before I leave for work at 8. We do a daily FaceTime while I’m at work (grateful for smart phones!), and then I am home by 6 so we can have family time before he goes to bed. I wish there was more time together during the week, but I know that my son’s schedule is full of classes and friends, and we maximize family time every weekend!
What advice will you give to your son someday when he's considering balancing parenthood and work?
My advice is to do what you love, and to always follow your gut and do what feels right. Make your own rules. Create boundaries so family always comes first, and live the best life possible. Life is too short to do anything less.
There’s that myth of the mother who takes on all the jobs—at her office, at home (cooking, cleaning, etc), and raising children. What are your opinions on the “woman who does it all” or “mother who does it all”?
We should be careful not to put this pressure on moms. No mom, whether she works outside the home or not, should be expected to “do it all.” My view is that moms should do the best they can with the jobs they take on each day. If “doing it all” is being home in time to have dinner with your family every night, make sure you’re honest with your supervisor and colleagues about a schedule that makes this feasible. Don’t be afraid to speak up for what matters to you.
Let’s get back to staying plugged into what we need as working moms to feel good and fulfilled in all that we do at home, at work, and throughout our lives. I keep this fantastic quote in my phone from Nora Ephron on motherhood: “What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications.”
What are some resources (books, sites, podcasts) you've found useful as a working mom?
I do most of my reading in transit—an effort to squeeze in some “me” time while commuting. I love The Rockets of Awesome blog, which includes “Short Answers” from celebrity moms and lots of other great content. They call it “The Awesome News—Reporting on Real Life With Kids.” Need I say more?!
Also, I recently discovered Dr. Portia’s Jackson’s podcast called Working Motherhood, and last week, I started Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu. Hands down, however, my bible since my son was born is The First Twelve Months of Life and The Second Twelve Months of Life by Frank and Theresa Kaplan. My mom loved these books and started reading them when I was born, and she bought them for me when my son was born. I’ve learned so much about the stages of development. It helps frame each month in a manageable and fascinating way.
My advice is to do what you love, and to always follow your gut and do what feels right. Make your own rules. Create boundaries so family always comes first, and live the best life possible. Life is too short to do anything less.
There’s that myth of the mother who takes on all the jobs—at her office, at home (cooking, cleaning, etc), and raising children. What are your opinions on the “woman who does it all” or “mother who does it all”?
We should be careful not to put this pressure on moms. No mom, whether she works outside the home or not, should be expected to “do it all.” My view is that moms should do the best they can with the jobs they take on each day. If “doing it all” is being home in time to have dinner with your family every night, make sure you’re honest with your supervisor and colleagues about a schedule that makes this feasible. Don’t be afraid to speak up for what matters to you.
Let’s get back to staying plugged into what we need as working moms to feel good and fulfilled in all that we do at home, at work, and throughout our lives. I keep this fantastic quote in my phone from Nora Ephron on motherhood: “What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications.”
What are some resources (books, sites, podcasts) you've found useful as a working mom?
I do most of my reading in transit—an effort to squeeze in some “me” time while commuting. I love The Rockets of Awesome blog, which includes “Short Answers” from celebrity moms and lots of other great content. They call it “The Awesome News—Reporting on Real Life With Kids.” Need I say more?!
Also, I recently discovered Dr. Portia’s Jackson’s podcast called Working Motherhood, and last week, I started Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu. Hands down, however, my bible since my son was born is The First Twelve Months of Life and The Second Twelve Months of Life by Frank and Theresa Kaplan. My mom loved these books and started reading them when I was born, and she bought them for me when my son was born. I’ve learned so much about the stages of development. It helps frame each month in a manageable and fascinating way.
We've got more interviews coming, so check back every day this week or head to our Moms at Work tag. This week was sponsored by Blue Apron—thank you for supporting the brands that help us make things happen.
